Lozada pours heart out in blog

MANILA, Philippines -- The Senate's star witness in its probe into the controversial national broadband network (NBN) deal with ZTE Corp. said he and members of his family remain not only a target of threats to their lives but also of lies and black propaganda allegedly perpetrated by the Arroyo administration.

"I have paid and I'm still paying a very high price for the piece of truth that I have put out for the people to see," Lozada said in a "reflection paper" posted on the blog of the civil society group Black and White Movement, one of the groups supporting him.

In the paper, Lozada recounted how he fared in the "two months of Calvary" he experienced since he returned from a few days in Hong Kong and testified in the Senate on what he knew about the NBN-ZTE deal.

He claimed the Arroyo administration continues to hound him with lies and innuendo to ruin his reputation and credibility.

"This is in full steam and venom right now, courtesy of Malacañang mercenaries disguised as journalists and their special operatives handlers. This highly paid group has successfully buried the kidnapping and attempted rub-out case under a rubble of lies that they unceasingly manufacture against me, from poison letters, komiks, media attacks to black propaganda special operatives, waiting to pounce on every opportunity they can to destroy the trust that the public may have given me," Lozada said.

Lozada's confidence in Arroyo administration has so eroded that he told the Court of Appeals on Friday he would reject any offer of protection from the police or the National Bureau of Investigation.

In the paper, Lozada said he felt the media have failed to portray his and his family's private sufferings from the "ceaseless harassment from death threats, character demolition, legal suits to black propaganda."

Lozada said he continued to be hurt by the pain of seeing his children cry their hearts out upon seeing the news of his past mistake, the frustration of seeing his children lose their academic honors because they were unable to go to school for almost a month.

He also worried that he and his family would never have a normal life ever again.

Lozada lamented that some people unfairly criticized the "public smiles" he displayed during his tours in Metro Manila and the provinces. In fact, he said, such smiles concealed his "private agonies" and were never meant to project himself as a politician aspiring for a public office.

"To those who get turned off when they see me on media portrayed like a politico, I'm asking for forgiveness because I don't have training in public appearances. But what if you put yourself in my shoes? My family and I have already suffered from my decision to serve the country, yet you find fault with me for smiling in public? I do not want to be self-righteous, but may I ask you to reflect on these questions before you judge me," Lozada said.

The engineer dared his detractors to answer four questions: What have you done to correct corruption? What have you given up to fight corruption? What have you gained from corruption? What have you done to uplift the victims of corruption?

Lozada insisted that no politician was using or funding him. In fact, he added, one of his "best kept secrets" was that the Association of Major Religious Superiors of the Philippines, which is providing him and his family sanctuary, imposed a condition that "I should not be associated with any political party or with any political figure or else they will be forced to take us out of their sanctuary program."

According to Lozada, he used to take lightly many accusations against him until his close friends in the religious community told him about an Ateneo-based priest who portrayed him as "such a wily person who has outwitted the entire nation by staging his own kidnapping, rescue and even his Senate appearance."

Similar presentations have been made in retreats for some religious congregations, he added.

"That is why I am now not surprised when officiating priests in our celebration of the Mass will show me texts from their brother priests telling them not to be used by Lozada and his politician handlers, and much to my relief, these priests who have actually heard me share my personal reflections would assure me that they will be the one to set right their misinformed brothers of their community," he said.

Lozada surfaced last February to reveal what he knew about the $329.48-million broadband deal mess. His alleged abduction caused a sensation and high-ranking government officials appeared before the Senate to dispute his claims.

Lozada also said Filipinos should continue to reiterate their sovereign right by demanding that the Arroyo administration tell the whole truth about the aborted deal.

"The failure of this administration to let out the other pieces of truth being held by the government should lead to a demand for accountability by those who will be found betraying the trust of the people, for without truth and accountability there will be no justice in the land," he said.

Lozada ended his piece with an exhortation: "I have now come to realize this is not about Jun Lozada. It is about every Filipino fighting for what is right against an unjust order, it is about every Filipino demanding from its government the truth amidst the lies and deceit, it's about every Filipino rallying to battle against the evil that has long imprisoned the Filipino people."

By Jerome Aning
Philippine Daily Inquirer